False pretense. you KNOW who you ARE

The world's got a funny way of turning 'round on you
When a friend tries to stab you right in the face
Losing faith in everything I thought I hoped I knew
Don't sweat it, it's set on false pretense

Betrayed but not gonna be willing to change
And it doesn't seem likely to fade
Betrayed but not gonna be willing to change
'cause you know...
It's sacrifice

All along you know you thought you got the best of me
You were wrong and I'm laughing right in your face
I cannot believe you claimed you were my family

Oh, it's time to let it go

I can't seem to understand it how you turned out to be so cold

You tried but were caught red handed, are you happy with your role?
It's funny to me how you've turned into such a joke...
It's sacrifice

False pretense you'll learn again
Stop pretending don't deny it
False pretense you'll learn again
So play the game until you run out
And play the game into my hand

Some beautiful poetry to all my F*KING HATERS. i aint takin shit from anyone no more

They said I can't rap about being broke no more
They ain't say I can't rap about coke no more
AH! Slut, you think I won't choke no whore
'til the vocal cords don't work in her throat no more?!
AH! These motherfuckers are thinking I'm playing
Thinking I'm saying the shit cause I'm thinking it just to be saying it
AH! Put your hands down bitch, I ain't gonna shoot you
I'ma pull +YOU+ to this bullet, and put it through you
AH! Shut up slut, you're causing too much chaos
Just bend over and take it like a slut, OK Ma?
"Oh, now he's raping his own mother, abusing a whore,
snorting coke, and we gave him the Rolling Stone cover?"
You god damn right BITCH, and now it's too late
I'm triple platinum and tragedies happen in two states
I invented violence, you vile venomous volatile bitches
vain Vicadin, vrinnn Vrinnn, VRINNN! *chainsaw*
Texas Chainsaw, left his brains all
dangling from his neck, while his head barely hangs on
Blood, guts, guns, cuts
Knives, lives, wives, nuns, sluts

Bitch I'ma kill you! You don't wanna fuck with me
Girls neither - you ain't nothing but a slut to me
Bitch I'ma kill you! You ain't got the balls to beef
We ain't gonna never stop beefing I don't squash the beef
You better kill me! I'ma be another rapper dead
for popping off at the mouth with shit I shouldn't said
But when they kill me - I'm bringing the world with me
Bitches too! You ain't nothing but a girl to me
.. I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady cause why?
Cause Shady, will fucking kill you ah-ha ha
I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady why?
Cause Shady, will fucking kill you..

Bitch I'ma kill you! Like a murder weapon, I'ma conceal you
in a closet with mildew, sheets, pillows and film you
Buck with me, I been through hell, shut the hell up!
I'm trying to develop these pictures of the Devil to sell 'em
I ain't "acid rap," but I rap on acid
Got a new blow-up doll and just had a strap-on added
WHOOPS! Is that a subliminal hint? NO!
Just criminal intent to sodomize women again
Eminem offend? NO! Eminem insult
And if you ever give in to him, you give him an impulse
to do it again, THEN, if he does it again
you'll probably end up jumping out of something up on the 10th
Ah! Bitch I'ma kill you, I ain't done this ain't the chorus
I ain't even drug you in the woods yet to paint the forest
A bloodstain is orange after you wash it three or four times
in a tub but that's normal ain't it Norman?
Serial killer hiding murder material
in a cereal box on top of your stereo
Here we go again, we're out of our medicine
out of our minds, and we want in yours, let us in

I write personal things in this blog cuz Im talking to a computer not YOU :D

As you can see. this is a new blog entry. yes. obey the walrus. uhhmmmmm I'm eating flan. yummmy. I dont feel good though cuz yesterday i had korean food and it made me feel sick. there was like fake fish in it or something but my grandma said "no no no it must be a radish or something!" cuz on the outside of it it was neon pink O_O. food should not be neon. it felt like rubber too and it was all squeaky so i didnt eat that mystery morsel..<_< well aside from whatever the fuck that was, the food was good so i dont caree.: D
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Omg i can't believe we get interims back this week. The marking period just started!!! God i hope im doing well in math. last marking period i got a 58 and the marking period before that i got a 62. If i dont pass this last marking period im failing for the whole year!! Oh well Im not getting left back unless i fail 2 main subjects for the year and i do well in everything else. Ms Ydrovo thinks im stupid though. The thing is, every year before this i would always get straight A's without even opening a book. Im a student ambassador, I (was) going to try to get into bergen technical highscool, i was altogether pretty prestigious and accomplished but now with this fking new teacher all of a sudden im failing math no matter how hard i try to pass!!! Its the teacher not the student = =#
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So i had a nightmare last night..where i was inside amnesia(the scariest fcking game ever made). Im not gunna go into detail cuz im still shaking. maybe next blog!!
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lately ive been listening to nothing but eminem. i think "my fault" is hilarious!! but on the more serious side, me and my brother mainly like eminem cuz he sorta connects to us. we pretty much had the same childhood and our financial gain took place at the same and same rate. i wont go into detail with that cuz im lazy : D heres some eminem for joo to enjoy

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nuthin else to write for now...my mind is kinda fuzzy cuz i havent woken up yet. bye i guess

P/S: last night whilst talking to kitty i told him he can make a separate blog on this account for himself so he can pass the time while hes in the hospital. SEE HOW GOOD OF A PERSON I AM? :) so that other blog isnt written by me, dont flame on me if there is offensive content.

Found my login!!!! I forgot it....sowwy...;_;

As the title says.....I forgot my login a few weeks back so I haven't been writing in this (being that I'm too lazy to think). uhhh my mind is pretty blank this morning...im tired...atleast it's friday.
So today or tomorrow a girl from Germany i knew last summer is coming to live with me for 3-4 days! I've known her for a while cuz she made the same trip last year around the same time but stayed with another family I know. Turns out she's friends with Sami's cousin Tiffany!! Lol Tiffany..be jealous! jk.
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I've actually been a bit depressed lately. I conquered depression 3 months ago and I've been on a good streak but, things from my early childhood have been starting to come back to me (in more ways than one..). As you may know, (I don't know if you do and i really don't care cuz it's the truth.) I had cancer when I was in 2nd grade and i was fighting it up until...uhhh...around 3 years ago i think. It physically and emotionally scarred me so I don't think I have actually been the same person since then. Normally it doesn't bother me but since a few months ago I've been having these nightmares where I'm re-diagnosed and I wake up not knowing if it was real or not so I end up crying at 3am = =''. I also searched through my dusty basement 2 weeks ago and found a box full of every single get well card I ever got while in the hospital...I was down there for 2 1/2 hours, reading every single one, and bawling my eyes out in the process. I found one from Sami's cousin who used to be my classmate too! lol Kevin..
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30 minutes after I wrote all of that..I'm drinking a french vanilla coolata from dunkin donuts. Instead of writing these blogs all in one go, i usually start  with this tab open at 3am when i wake up and write out THE INNER MACHINATIONS OF MY MIND as i waste my time on the computer all morning...

I like this song.

Yeahhhhh Simple Plan was my favorite band for a few months back in '08. This song pretty much made it for me, and the music video makes me cry. You'll get the meaning of the song if you listen to it and watch the video. Another good song I like is  You probably know this song. Its been around for a while! I knew these guys since I was reaaaally little. 

Le gasp! Did you know one of the guys from Streetlight Manifesto is my guitar mentor!? Lulz yes Pete. They're really popular but since they play mainly ska, I don't think any of my friends will know them.

heres some of their best work (according to me)

   

yeaaah they have funny music videos lol. They like animation obviously. I love how Pete is portrayed as a giraffe in "Would you be impressed". Their music has a lot of depth if you really listen to the depth of the music....It just makes me so happy!! Except for the beginning of "Down down down to mephisto's cafe". lol "If i were you i would take this as a sign, believe it's true we were never meant to fly, and I owe you I know you more than anyone alive and I will not let go". damn how depressing of them!!

Minato showed this group called "Boys night out" to Lavi then Lavi showed them to me...I love them!! They're more on the 'emo' or depressing side but I think their music contains absolute lyrical genius and blends perfectly with the guitar part. Here's the song. you have been warned (no worries there's no screaming)  <--great song!!

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Enough with other peoples' music how about MY music? Lately I've put down the electric guitar because of this nice weather and picked up the acoustic. Nice campfire music, The Beatles, fingerwork, classical, playing on street corners, public captioning. ahh the essence of summer guitar music. Pete is actually teaching me how to play flamenca guitar style! *embracing my Cuban side* I have my acoustic guitar sitting here right next to me. He says hi. 

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Yesterday was fun : D I was out all day, I wanted Sami and Len to come but *ahem* Len. would not pick up her phone. and Sami couldn't. So me, Jesus, Joe, Wolfheart, and alecia was there for a few minutes, were hanging out and went biking a bit. Kaleigh and Kristian were also gonna come but they couldnt. lol when they left me and Jesus ended up chasing an ice cream truck for half an hr. I'm gunna get screwed though cuz Joe (being the genius he is) decided to throw Jesus's bike into my fire pit so it broke (the fire pit not the bike). Now when my mom finds out I'm DEAD O_O I'm upset too...now me and my pack can't play our guitars at the fire on warm nights anymore ): 

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extree extree! I'm back into the laven fandom. yay me! I used to like laven a loooot more than yullen but then I sorta switched and now they're neck in neck! Here's some laven for you. AWWWW HOW CUTE<3 <3 ^^ I ACTUALLY found some cute photos of only allen. That's almost impossible!! I would upload them but I'm lazy. Maybe next entree! Now that I look back...I wrote...aLOT. Should I stop? naahhhh I'll stick around more.

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Here are some songs I'm covering on my guitar right now, Maybe I will upload me playing them

  <---HARD  

. so. yeah. *____* ohh~ the beauty of acoustic guitar~

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 I guess thats all for today...see ya!

Hello blogger I am back. Sitting in this same computer chair. In the same cozy perching position. With my wet hair. And out of season pajamas. Yes, I realize putting periods in the middle of my sentences do not make them more interesting...and yet....(maybe it's my A.D.D XP) 

Well then my little children are you excited to listen to me drone on and on about shit you probably don't care about and probably could do better without knowing? :D Good. Because I really don't give a shit and I'm actually talking to myself right now.

Right now I searched 'yullen' on photobucket(which is much cleaner and actually has good art unlike 85% of Deviant art) and I found a bunch of amazingly adorable pictures n_n Good thing I locked my folders....I have yaoi in my anime pics folder now and It'd take too long to explain that to my family ha ha! My brother already knows I'm a yaoi fangirl though. He's like..(Cue deep voice that he really doesn't have):"Wtf Marie why are you into that stuff I thought you were better than that! That's gross bla bla!" but really what's the big deal! Equal rights man equal rights! Here's a pic for you to stare at.

It's not too fluffy but I still like it :D It's more on the 'hinting s&m' side though >_> *does not like s&m whatsoever* The one thing about this pic though is that I like it better when Allen and Kanda are either getting along or all out attacking eachother! (I know Kanda would never actually hurt Allen though, he loves him to much <3) and this pic is just so boring it's like they might as well be dead lol. Allen hates me for treating them like toys hah! But it's not my fault I'm a yaoi fangirl ;) Deal with it bro.

I'm learning how to play 'You' from Higurashi no Naku koro ni. It wasn't really featured in the actual anime but it was played at the end of the game.

 Heres Kaito singing it for you

<---you like? :3 I bet Sami does. And Len. Ohhh yesss that was a yaoi reference<3

The actual version that I will be playing on guitar is more of a classical fingerpicking technique that's hard to get down at first but I'm patient. 

 

I think I should be getting ready for school now haha but I'm lazy =_=. Mommy Sami will get mad at me D: kk

Bye Bye

88

>Rambling< My first blog

Ok so I guess the whole blog thing is bound to become an obsession of mine, seeing that I love writing out the INNER MACHINATIONS OF MY MIND (*cough cough* Totally not a spongebob reference) and I wake up at 3am so that gives me pleeenty of time to waste and fuck around n_n Ester and Sami are the only humans I really know that read these things occasionally I think so I guess I don't need to curb my language either. Fuck yeah seaking I'm free!!! To Narnia!

I've pretty much been listening to this nico nico medley all morning....it's like they took all my favorite songs from video games/animes and smashed em together in one huge orgy that just /happens/ to have Len and Kaito in the front ;) Cheers to the brave brave brave men in the front right corner who are wearing maid outfits. Kanpai! Is it strange that I wake up at 3am. I think I should stop it seeing that it's a bad habit and contributes to my insomnia/nightmares/bounciness/overall fuck upedness <--My new word. (fuk-up-ed-nes).
I've been looking for a new fandom to join. I looked into kuroshijutsi. It's pretty popular with the yaoi fans but it might get boring over time :T hm..

A good song I found last night is Uninstall. There you go I posted it<3 Pretty much just about Kaito going on a psycho rampage killing everybody then his master then himself. Uhhhh yeah I think he's smoking something really strong. Hey kids drugs are bad! But there's no point in me telling that to you little 9 year old girls in short skirts, already prostitutes, have 3 boyfriends, white trash, that probably already have an /excellent/ dealer ;)

On the happy note- here's some yullen fluff to stare at. No matter how many times I've seen this picture I still scream and have a little seizure. If you didn't get even the slightest kick out of that pic then you have some serious medical problems at the base of your spine that cannot be cured unless you go through very painful surgery and a serious of 7 ft long needles right up your ass<3 Thank you for your time thank you for shopping at Stop & Shop. I love you.(That is, unless you are one of the girls whom I've previously described)
Bye bye 88 I don't feel like writing anymore!